Funny Racing Stories

[SBan83]

Bottom post of the previous page:

[Michkov]

lol, reminds me of the early-mid 80ies when F1 cars were going off into the wheat fields they used to have inside the Österreichring.

[Everso Biggyballies]

lol, reminds me of the early-mid 80ies when F1 cars were going off into the wheat fields they used to have inside the Österreichring.

I remember Jackie Stewart doing the same at Silverstone in the seventies, would have been '73. After the restart from 'Scheckter's moment' Stewart was trying to pass Peterson for the lead, but spun into the infield and disappeared, all bar the airbox, only to reappear again, continuing in the race.

Edit: Re the above I just found this - there is footage of the above, taken from the helicopter in this video, (just before the 3 minute mark.....) As a bonus, the wonderful Raymond Baxter commentating, joined by Graham Hill towards the end.

[Everso Biggyballies]

I had not heard of this tale regarding Ricardo Rossett, well known pay driver who ended up at Tyrrell in 1998. The first part of this following piece is well known to most, but the last bit was new to me, and made me smile.....

The 1998 season was another unsuccessful one for Rosset, leading to a joke from Martin Brundle, who, upon Murray Walker's suggestion that people were debating whether Rosset was F1 quality, he remarked "it's a fairly short debate".

Also, after severely damaging his car in qualifying at the 1998 Monaco Grand Prix and receiving a warning from the stewards, his furious mechanics switched the first and last letters of his surname on his paddock scooter to form the word "tosser".

[Everso Biggyballies]

More of interest than full on funny but amusing anyway.....

I was watching a programme / Doco on TV that was about the Motorcycle Legends and events from the eighties, with old footage and interviews (from back then as well as current) with the big names from the time. At one point Kenny Roberts, a follower of F1 recalled an informal meeting with Bernie at some Banquet or function opening an F1 GP meeting somewhere. I believe it might have been the first time they had met. I think Kenny was with his lawyer / manager

In the course of the meeting Bernie and Kenny just clicked, both enjoying each others company and forming an instant friendship. At the end of the evening Bernie asked Kenny what his biggest problem / hurdle he faced at that time was.....

Kenny at the time was riding for Yamaha, and although a multi champion, was not being offered the deal or $$$ he thought he deserved, and had asked for in his negotiations for the following year's contract..... problem was that he had very little leverage to back his case with Yamaha, no documents such as counter offers to Kenny from other teams with big money offers, because the seats at Suzuki and Honda had already been taken and confirmed.

Yamaha knew they had the very best seat still available, so, with other riders available to them, even though they wanted Kenny, they were trying to get Kenny's services on the cheap, or for less than the going 'World Champion rate'. Kenny could not back his claims for more $$$ because there were no vacancies left in any other works team. None of the non-works teams would be able to pay Kenny even Yamaha's reduced offer, and Kenny wanted to win more races. Basically Yamaha held the aces in the negotiations.

Bernie, with an air of is that all, said he might be able to help. The press were all at the banquet, cameras flashing as they took their celebrity photos as people mingled and chatted. A few winks, whispers from Bernie to others and everyone is now taking plenty of photos of Bernie and Kenny with Lawyer. There would be plenty of pics in the press of the trio together....

Bernie told Kenny to come to the Brabham pits next day as his personal guest, at 11.30am, where at some stage Bernie would hand Kenny an envelope, one that Kenny was to put in his pocket unopened......

Sure enough, the following morning Kenny wandered into the Brabham pit at 11.30 and was chatting with Bernie as instructed....... as planned, later in the day when they parted, Bernie gave Kenny an envelope which, as instructed, he just pocketed.

What was in the secret envelope? Nothing much - other than a formal (but in reality fictitious) letter to Kenny from Bernie...... offering him the #2 Brabham seat for the following year, with the salary put at more even than Kenny wanted from Yamaha, and a very short deadline of acceptance for Kenny to make his mind up. A few deliberately leaked snippets to the media suggesting the subject of their meeting was to discuss Kenny's interest in becoming an F1 driver, and by the end of the race the conspiracy theorists and 'gossipistes' had the Paddock tongues wagging about how Kenny was jumping from Bikes to F1 and had been offered Brabham's #2 seat for the following year. Of course by the Monday morning the Yamaha top dogs in Tokyo had read the news and seen the pics of envelopes being passed around..... they were well aware of 'Kenny's apparent secret plans' to dump Bikes in favour of cars - to do a Mike the Bike / John Surtees / Johnny Cecotto type of transfer to F1.

Yamaha, suddenly were fearful of their limited options of having to replace Kenny, of having to start another rider with no proven record, and of losing Kenny altogether to F1, and knowing of the very limited time to Bernie's deadline, they decided give up the aim of saving a few bucks over the retainer, took the easy option and immediately (substantially) upped their $$$ offer to Kenny to what he wanted, hoping he would decline Bernies offer and to make him stay on board with Bikes at Yamaha for another 2 years. Job done. Kenny had his demands met and his contract with Yamaha was signed. BE had very quickly and with little effort, by using word of mouth and the Paparrazzi as the tools, got the result Kenny was after.

A classic, maybe not 100% kosher, and some (not me) might say arguably slightly immoral, but no one suffered or was hurt, (other a few yen at Yamaha's Bank) and no scandal ensued. More mischeivous than nasty. You can take the used car salesman away from the showroom, but you cant take the used car salesman out of the man.....

Perfect. It impressed the hell out of Kenny Roberts. And to my knowledge Kenny and Bernie are still friends.

[Everso Biggyballies]

I found this amusing, and previously unknown by me story regarding Lance Macklin, stopping his Aston Martin DB2 2.0litre at the 1949 Spa 24 Hrs on his way to a 5th overall finish, the reason for the stop to have a beer that he had 'ordered' on the previous lap.

The 'spy' picture was taken by a nearby Louis Klemantaski, well known photographer, and this is a scan I made from his Master Motorsports Photographer book.

Can you imafine any such thing happening nowadays, with TV Cameras (not to mention on board cameras), Telemetry, Pit to Driver communications etc. Not a chance! And if they got sprung by the FIA now they would be banned for x years.

A bit similar to the Drunken Duncan (Hamilton) story from Le Mans in the early 50's that I know many have heard, where Duncan and co driver Tony Rolt were told they were unable to start their works Jaguar C Type due a technical / eligibility issue with the car. As you would they both went out and got thoroughly pissed, staying out all night, returning before lunch absolutely blatted to watch the race. Lofty England greeted them with the news rhat the issue had been resolved and the Jag could start after all. Duncan was doing the first stint, was being filled with coffee to sober up, and was topped up at pit stops. He started getting twitchy from the caffeine overdose and ended up refusing coffee and needing Brandy instead to cure his hangover. Of course history tells us that the pair won the event outright that year..... so they all went out and got pissed!


Anyway the picture of Lance Macklin stopping for a beer at Spa

[SBan83]

Masta is not a corner I'd want to take even mildly drunk but those were different times, as we keep saying.

[Everso Biggyballies]

At least they could drink on the run like that with their helmets on in the open face days.

Of course nowadays with the full face helmets and HANS systems they get to drink their super-juices through a plumbed in tube with an electric pump, which would not help if you wanted to gulp a discrete beer.

Masta isnt the only bend on the old long circuit that would be scary. As you say, different times.

[erwin greven]

One of the most funny stories are many times told by Brian Redman.

He once asked Fangio: How do you come that fast? Fangio: "More throttle, less brakes!"

Or when he met Ron Dennis who he had not seen for more than 40 years: "I almost wanted to say to him "Hello, Ron! You were m m m mech.. engineer...." "You did not want to be called mechanic!!"

Or about the 917. He got the call from Porsche that they wanted him to test the Porsche 917. Brian was a bit cautious, knowing that the car was difficult to drive: "Why are they letting me to test the 917 when they have six German drivers waiting to die for the "Fatherland"? He rang up Jo Siffert.
"Seppi, have you tested the 917 yet?". Long silence, then: "No, not yet, we let others find out what breaks first!"

[Everso Biggyballies]

As part of the GP preamble part of our schedule was a visit to the 'F1 vaults' discussing the team mate rivalries through history..... Nigel Mansell was one of the studio guests of Steve Rider.

One of the topics asked of Mansell was not to do with Nelson Piquet, but asked who his favourite team mate was. Nigel mentioned Keke and also Patrese. He told this amusing tale about Patrese when they were both driving for Williams, one that I had never heard before so thought I would relate it here....

As we know, Patrese was generally being outshone by Mansell, and this had raised issues as to the cars not being the same, with Patrese feeling Nigel has the better car, better equipment etc. Result was that Nigel and Ricardo swapped cars in either a test day or Practice (I dont recall which or where).

In their own cars Nigel was over a second per lap faster. They swapped cars, and at the end of the comparison, Nigel, driving Ricardo's car was again over a second per lap faster. Regardless of what car, Nigel was equally faster than Ricardo.

Nigel was soon after being interviewed about events as they do, when suddenly Nigel felt someone putting their hand between his legs from behin and grasping his 'Gentlemans vegetables'. Nigel turned round with surprise (as you would) to see it was Ricardo. Nigel asks Ricardo the WTF question....

Ricardo smiled and said he had, after their runs in each others cars, checked through the telemetry and discovered that in two corners Nigel, in both Ricardo's and his own car, was travelling near enough 20kph faster than he was. He laughed and said to Nigel, "so I had to check for myself how big they (Nigel's veggies) were"!

[Cheeveer]

How the Chaparral 2J was born. Jim Hall:

"A kid sent me a drawing of a car that looked like a beanie cap, those little caps kids used to wear with a propeller on top,"
"It had four wheels, with the driver peering out through a window of the beanie and the propeller on top. We looked at it and thought, 'Wouldn't this be a good way to do it?' It wasn't my original idea; somebody did send that to me."

[Everso Biggyballies]

Great story I had never heard before.... thanks for sharing.

[Everso Biggyballies]

I was just watching the Shannon's Legends of Motorsport tribute to the late Peter Brock, and his PR Manager recounted an unknown / untold tale of Brock with fans and his signing of autographs. One such Brock fan was dying of cancer, and got an autograph from Peter. Unbeknown to Peter this same fan had requested that his ashes be scattered at Sandown in a car being driven by Brock. The fan duly passed away, and the PR Manager was contacted with the ashes. For some reason no one wanted to ask Brock to do it in case he refused for some reason, so the PR Manager and Peter were at a ride day at Sandown in a passenger seated car, and the PR Manager said to Peter to take him for a lap. Peter said sure.

The PR Manager had the ashes in an urn, and they got strapped in and set off on the lap. As they were lapping, he wound down the passenger window and discreetly emptied the fan's ashes from the urn out of the window. Unfortunately, the wind blew the ashes straight back into the car and across into Peter's face. Peter coughed and spluttered saying what the hell was that. The PR Manager knew he couldn't say some fan's ashes, so he quickly said they were doing kerbing repairs at the track and it must have been concrete dust. Peter just said OK and continued.

Peter never learnt the true story!

[MonteCristo]

Lol!

[Everso Biggyballies]

Not an overtly funny story but it was quite amusing none the less, especially given the two characters involved and their renowned interest in a quick quid. It has been kept quiet about although rumoured for 30+ years. Something quick to read in these quiet times.

Back in the days of apartheid and the South African GP (we are talking 1985) we had global tales of civil rights leaders and visionaries fighting for racial equality. F1 was even then a powerful media presence and this story shows the lengths people had to go to to keep the politicians and protesters happy and on side. When Formula One came to race at the annual South African Grand Prix, decisions had to be made in order to save face against activists and strikes and at the same time please sponsors in this case Americans many thousands of miles from Kyalami.

The story involves Alan Jones, at the time with the woeful Beatrice Haas Lola team and the inevitable Bernie E. This is a story told in Alan Jones' book. I guess Alan knew he was in for a surprise when Bernie pointedly asked him how he felt.... It also shows the resourcefulness of Bernie in times of pressure.

Bernie Ecclestone Once Paid Off a (World CHampion) Driver to Skip a Grand Prix
A story of a world champion, the Formula One supremo, and the Apartheid.


Alan Jones, an Aussie driver for Haas-Lola and former world champion, was sponsored by an American goods company, Beatrice. While he wasn't in the running for a title that year, he was still an influential member of the sport—he was so significant, in fact, that he caught the attention of American Jesse Jackson, a key figure in the fight for black rights.

Jackson had extended a proposition to African-American Beatrice workers that if Jones were to participate in the 1985 South African Grand Prix, that they should protest, tarnishing the company's image as well as Jones'.

"Beatrice couldn’t be seen to be backing down to an individual like him, but if they didn’t back down there was a chance of the strike.” Jones said in his new autobiography.

This understandably made Jones anxious as his only options were to either race and potentially lose a major sponsor, or refuse to compete and cause corruption with the Haas-Lola team.

Bernie Ecclestone was at the helm of Formula One during the time, and during Jones' dilemma, he called him into his office. The driver was particularly nervous during the dialogue, moreso than normal.

"During the Friday I was summoned to see Bernie Ecclestone in his penthouse. Not sure what I had done this time, I fronted up. As I went in the door Bernie said, ‘How do you feel?’ Standard greeting, although he had a look in his eye, I gave him a standard reply, ‘Pretty good, thanks,'” Jones explained.

“‘What do you think your chances are of winning the race tomorrow?’" asked Ecclestone, a known-disciplinary figure with a perhaps deservedly harsh reputation.

"Bernie, I think you know the answer to that question. If I start now, probably pretty good." Jones replied.

Then, Ecclestone proceeded to offer up an unusually generous suggestion to Jones, as the book states:

"‘Well, I’ve got a bit of an idea. If you pull up sick and can’t run again this weekend, we’ll give you first-place prize money. Go home and visit Australia. If the driver falls crook and can’t drive, then the Beatrice car doesn’t race. It’s a force majeure. Jesse Jackson can’t get on his soapbox and say, ‘I forced that company to withdraw,’ and he also couldn’t call a strike because the car didn’t race."

This would allow Jones to return home to Australia via plane on Saturday morning while everyone else was attending qualifying. Not only that, Jones was then awarded a purse equivalent to that of the first-place prize.

The veteran racer took him up on his offer, then headed back in preparation for the next race. "I made a miraculous recovery for the Australian Grand Prix, which was just as well.”

His team wasn't notified until Sunday when someone leaked to them that Jones had fell under the weather, saving him from an impossible decision.

Out of all the misogynistic, racist, and otherwise discriminatory tales that Ecclestone has become known for, this one should stand out as a remote moment of humanity—all kept under wraps until now, 32 years later.

From the weekend results sheet.


1 5 Nigel MANSELL Williams Honda 75 1h 28m 22.866s ( 208.959 km/h ) 9
2 6 Keke ROSBERG Williams Honda 75 1h 28m 30.438s ( +07.572s ) 6
3 2 Alain PROST McLaren TAG Porsche 74 4
4 28 Stefan JOHANSSON Ferrari Ferrari 74 3
5 17 Gerhard BERGER Arrows BMW 74 2
6 18 Thierry BOUTSEN Arrows BMW 74 1
7 3 Martin BRUNDLE Tyrrell Renault 73
ab 11 Elio De ANGELIS Lotus Renault 52 Engine
ab 29 Pierluigi MARTINI Minardi Motori Moderni 45 Radiator
ab 1 Niki LAUDA McLaren TAG Porsche 37 Turbo
ab 4 Philippe STREIFF Tyrrell Renault 16 Accident
ab 12 Ayrton SENNA Lotus Renault 8 Engine
ab 27 Michele ALBORETO Ferrari Ferrari 8 Turbo
ab 7 Nelson PIQUET Brabham BMW 6 Valve
ab 20 Piercarlo GHINZANI Toleman Hart 4 Engine
ab 19 Teo FABI Toleman Hart 3 Engine
ab 8 Marc SURER Brabham BMW 3 Valve
ab 24 Huub ROTHENGATTER Osella Alfa Romeo 1 Electrics
ab 23 Eddie CHEEVER Alfa Romeo Alfa Romeo 0 Collision
ab 22 Riccardo PATRESE Alfa Romeo Alfa Romeo 0 Collision
Did not start
33 Alan JONES Lola Hart Driver ill

[Everso Biggyballies]

Hmm thought that one might have cracked a comment.