Funny Racing Stories

Racing events, drivers, cars or anything else from the past.
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Funny Racing Stories

#1

Post by Everso Biggyballies »

Funny Racing stories.

There have been many amusing stories over the years in F1, indeed in motor racing. I thought it might help pass the time before racing restarts to perhaps relate a few. So if you have any amusing stories about drivers or teams to relate this could be the time and place to do so. I will start the ball rolling with a couple.... please add your own.

Italian gentleman pay driver Giovanni Lavaggi, (whose name literally translates in English as Johnnie Carwash), whose main claim to fame was that at 37 he was the second oldest driver in modern times to make an F1 debut. Another claim to fame was when, unable to qualify inside the newly reintroduced 107% rule he protested Damon Hill who had apparently missed a weight check, hoping the stewards would DSQ Hill and thus allow him to start in his Minardi. The stewards didnt and neither did he.

Another time when he did qualify, albeit last, over a second behind Lamy, during the race was trundling around at the back when he got involved in the pass of the year. As Michael Schumacher and Villeneuve came up to him approaching the treacherous Parabolica corner, the German encountered "a chicane disguised as a Minardi", as Lavaggi inadvertently blocked the Ferrari.

Schumacher backed off so as not to be slowed too much going onto the front straight. But in a true racer's style, and using his oval skills, the Canadian proceeded to make a move around the outside of the World Champion. Schumacher gave him room, and coming onto the front straight, Villeneuve used the slipstream from Giovanni's Minardi, and took the position, going on to record a victory. This link is the commentary of Jonathon Palmer and Murray Walkers as they saw it....
http://www.ozemail.com.au/~lindenbrae/f ... avaggi.mp3

His next race for Minardi was his last , as he failed to qualify, Ricardo Rosset qualifying nearly 2 seconds faster! Unbelievably Johnnie Carwash (the literal English translation of his name) had previously WON the prestigous Daytona 24hrs.

His real moment of comedy came earlier in Germany, at Hockenheim in I think 1996. In qualifying, his customer Ford engine blew and he pulled over to park. Casually stepping out of the car, he appeared stuck, before realising the steering wheel was still attached. He undid the wheel and then stood in the cockpit re-attaching the steering wheel.

He seemed to be thinking the hand gestures and calls from those nearby were in adulation of his driving. Unknown to him the expired engine had self ignited and flames were belching from the airbox. For what seemed like ages, Lavaggi stood there blissfully unaware that his head was being fried, before he sensed all was not quite right, looked over his shoulder, saw the flames and in the same move leaped from the car into the air in what can only be described as something from a Marx Brothers movie.

Hardly the blaze of glory he was hoping for..... :wink:

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#2

Post by Cheeveer »

One of the funniest bits I've heard is when Ronnie Peterson visited the Andretti house before the Watkins Glen 6-hours.
When they got there, the first thing Ronnie saw was Michael's new 250cc motocross Honda. Ronnie, who always seeked new motorised adventures, asked if he could test it on the off road track that was set up on the nearby field. -"Of course. Drive!", the younger Andretti said.
Ronnie drove out on track and drove his butt off, like always. After a little while the two Andretti's heard the engine go silent. Ronnie had crashed. When he came back, his chest was scraped and the brand new Honda had a huge dent on the fuel tank.
Michael Andretti didn't say much and kept cool, but he was really fuming.

So, that was a little story invloving 3 of my all time favorite drivers! :thumbsup:
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#3

Post by PTRACER »

You do have to laugh at Taki Inoue's misfortune in the 1995 season.

During practice at Monaco, his car broke down and he asked it to be towed back to the pits, as opposed to being craned off the circuit, so he could compete in second qualifying. So, he put on his helmet and jumped in the car without his seatbelts on. As he was being towed back to the pits, Jean Ragnotti, the rally ace, decided to take his Renault Clio safety car out on the track for a spin. He encountered Inoue's Footwork and smashed into the back of it. The Footwook rolled and the impact knocked a chunk out of Inoue's helmet, leaving him with concussion. He was lucky to not be more injured.

Then at Hungary, Inoue's car had broken down on the 14th lap with a broken engine. With his engine steaming, two marshalls came over the armco and stood there staring at it. Inoue went over to the barrier to retrieve an extinguisher, not noticing a vehicle heading towards them. As he turned around, he didn't notice the car coming and walked straight in front of it. He fell on the bonnet and got back on his feet, but almost immediately collapsed on the floor, because he'd injured his leg.

Talk about bad luck!
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#4

Post by Everso Biggyballies »

From Kennybrack.com
--------------
1987

Van Diemen gave me a car to use free of charge for the whole year. However to protect their own works team they never gave me any setups. Every time I asked, they answered that theirs is nothing special - they only use "standard setup". I knew that this was not true but I could not figure out a way of getting the information I needed. But through lots and lots of testing I found my own way of setting up the car so it was fast. On the last day of practice before the final championship race I lapped at exactly the same speed as their official driver, Eddie Irvine.

But just before the session closed, we decided to carry out a little practical joke. The last time I passed by the pit lane, a member of my team Jan "Flash" Nilsson, a very good racing driver himself, showed a lap time on my pit board that was half a second quicker than the lap record. The whole pit panicked. Eddie threw himself in his car again, only to find that the track was closed. Later we sat in our bus laughing when it knocked on the door. The vice president of Van Diemen came by to congratulate me on my fantastic lap. First, he said, "We got you fastest out there, Kenny" then he took a deep breath and asked, "By the way, what springs are you running lad," I answered, "Well - exactly as you I guess, the standard setup."

Half an hour later, Eddie's car was in pieces. Even the president of the factory was on his knees in oil trying to figure out what was wrong with the car.
:wink:

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#5

Post by Everso Biggyballies »

OK. I have been going through an old HD and have found my file of funny(ish) stories, so even though there is the Brack one today we get an extra one.... :roll: :wink:

Quoted without permission from Nigel Roebuck's Grand Prix Greats

During practice at Dijon in 1981, Gilles crashed at the Courbe de Pouas, an undulating, flat-in-fourth right hander, with no run-off worth mentioning. During the lunch break I found him dabbing a cut on his jaw: "Bloody catch pole cracked my helmet and broke the visor ..."
"You overdid it ?" I asked. "Just ran out of road ?" "No, no," he grinned. "I ran out of lock ! :haha: "The car is really bad through there - an adventure every time. Go and have a look this afternoon and you'll see what I mean." I did. I watched the Cosworth-engined Williams and Brabhams droning through on their rails, and waited.

At its clipping point, at the top of a rise, the Ferrari was already sideways, its driver winding on opposite lock. As it came past me, plunging downhill now, the tail stayed out of line, further and further, and still Gilles had his foot hard down. As he reached the bottom of the dip, I knew the position was hopeless, for now it was virtually broadside, full lock on, Villeneuve's head pointing up the road, out of the side of the cockpit.

Somehow, though, the Ferrari did not spin, finally snapping back into line as it grazed the catch fencing, then rocketing away up the hill. For more than a hundred yards, I swear it, the car was sideways at 130 mph. "That's genius," said David Hobbs, watching with me. "Are you seriously telling me he's won two Grand Prix in that?"

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#6

Post by PTRACER »

That's not funny, that's pure brilliance :thumbsup:
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#7

Post by Everso Biggyballies »

OK time for some more amusement, mostly to do with the antics between Berger and Senna at McLaren.

Berger and Alesi were sent to collect Jean Todts very special hand built Lancia Delta from the factory to the test track, when doing the testing for Ferrari, and completely trashed it. Jean Alesi lost control of the car after Berger unexpectedly pulled the handbrake They "parked" it on it's roof, right outside the Marinello factory climbed out and tried to not look suspicious when they walked into the building, telling Jean they had damaged it slightly parking it!.

Or the time when Senna was showing off his new briefcase to Gerhard "It's damage proof, made from carbon fibre boasted Senna"
"Is it? Lets see!".Gerhard Berger chucked Ayrton Senna's briefcase out of the helicopter they were flying in, about 500 foot above the racetrack. They landed and did find the briefcase.

In retaliation Senna nicked Berger's wallet and had all the credit cards bolted and superglued together, so Berger put live frogs in Senna's hotel room . . . . .Senna had a thing about reptiles -- he hated them. Berger put 99 frogs is Senna's room. Knowing how analytical about eveything Senna was, he figured that Senna would search all night and day for the 100th frog. Senna told Berger that he had found them all that it took until 2AM to get rid of all the frogs, to which Berger then asked "what about the snake? Did you find that?"

Senna changed rooms the next day.

Best known is probably an incident in which Berger replaced Senna's passport photo with what Ron Dennis described as "an equivalent-sized photo of male genitalia". Senna's fame meant he rarely had his passport checked, but this was in Argentina. Berger's prank resulted in airport customs officials holding the Brazilian in custody for 24hours whilst all his paperwork was put in order and the correct photo put in his passport.

Senna and Brazilian compatriot Mauricio Gugelmin decided to fill Berger's shoes with shaving foam on a fast train ride to a dinner in Japan. Having been forced to attend the dinner wearing a tuxedo with sneakers, Berger vowed for retribution. It was at the Japanese Grand Prix a few days later that Gugelmin was approached by Joseph Leberer, the McLaren team nutritionist, offering fresh orange juice. Ever vigilant, Mauricio declined the suspicious offer.....

It later transpired that One hour before the race starts Berger crushed four sleeping pills into that juice and sent it to me, hoping I would drink it so I would pass out at the start of the race I had travelled half way round the world to see, in which the world title would be decided that year. The cars roaring by at the track and I snoring in the cabin, can you imagine it?"
:tongue: :wink:

.....and Berger now complains his drivers dont take their racing serious enough!

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#8

Post by meeister »

@Everso Biggyballies

these stories are from berger's book "zielgerade" (home stretch), or??
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#9

Post by Everso Biggyballies »

meeister wrote:@Everso Biggyballies

these stories are from berger's book "zielgerade" (home stretch), or??
A lot of them were collected on my old HD which I put in my computer recently. I have many more of other drivers that I will add as time goes on. I see things on the net or in books and collect them. I dont remember exactly where I got them from. I think many of them are around the net. I dont have the book you mentioned though. Is it available in English? I would be interested as Berger was always one of my favourite drivers.

Maybe another story now.... :tongue: :wink:

Mrs Gilles Villeneuve used to regularly lie on the floor of the family cars when Gilles drove, as she felt safer. Gilles was well known for always driving fast on roads as well.

Dr Sid Watkins was offered a lift to the race once in Brazil, 1981 by Gilles and his wife. Sid being the gentleman he is, offers the passenger seat to Gilles wife, to which she replies "No thanks". She then started to get into the back seat, and then lay down on the floor of the car. Prof Watkins wondered what her problem was, so asks "What are you doing"? She simply replied "You'll see!".........that was the last time Sid Watkins ever drove anywhere with Gilles Villeneuve driving... :shock: :haha: :wink:

In one of Lauda's books he recounts being woken up at a hotel during a race weekend by the sound of a helicopter right outside the hotel. Gilles was coming home a bit late and landed it on the hotel. :cool: :wink:

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#10

Post by CevertAngel »

I remember many an incident between Berger and Senna and their jokes. I remember being in the Hotel lobby in Monaco . When they were teammates one year. Looking up from signing my check in form seeing Senna Chasing Berger around the Hotel lobby with a Water Pistol full of Mustard. If that wasnt bad enough Berger had one full of Tomato Sauce. Needless to say there was a fair bit of mess when those two had finnished mucking around................Sadly anyone within shot distance of the Pistols coped it too.............Thankfully I was missed.... :thumbsup:

I still laugh when I think of that incedent.............Those two were crazy together..........Berger really brought Senna out of his shell............And I still miss that...... :cry:
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#11

Post by Manuel Zamora »

Great stories. I'll see mr Berger in a different way, now. :tongue:


I've heard about a storie of Berger and I think this is the right place to ask if it's true.

It was something like Berger and Alesi being in a restaurant in Monaco in order to receive two Testarossas as a gift from Ferrari. All the group having a nice time, when someone got in shouting that both red machines parked at the door were being robbed by two guys. The stories goes with Gerard Berger grabbing the keys of someone's Volkswagen Golf and jumping to its wheel for his best Bullitsh chase scene, put Monaco in the place of San Francisco. Apparently his skill was not enought to save the mechanical difference and they lost their gifts before they were able to enjoin'em.

Do you know if this's true? Not sure if I heard it from the Spanish telly commentators that years' Monaco GP.
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#12

Post by SBan83 »

What on earth? Two Ferraris actually 'stolen' in Monaco? I mean, that's like hiding something in your living room. :tongue:
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#13

Post by Manuel Zamora »

Very true, Sandeep.

Didn't think on that. :haha: :haha:

See you soon on Vroc... right? :thumbsup:
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#14

Post by SBan83 »

Manuel Zamora wrote:Very true, Sandeep.

Didn't think on that. :haha: :haha:

See you soon on Vroc... right? :thumbsup:
One of these days, Manny. :wave:
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#15

Post by Everso Biggyballies »

Some Prost related stories...

The warm-up to the 1990 Mexican Grand Prix in Mexico City hat to be stopped because of a big black dog on the track. Alain Prost said about it: "The dog was behaving better than many drivers when being overtaken. Besides that, it was very fast!"


After the heavy accident of Oliver Panis, Alain Prost answered the question if he thought about replacing Panis himself: "I could explain it to you for hours, but to reduce it to a common denominator - no."


In a chat after the first practice session for the Belgium Grand Prix 2000, Alain Prost was asked the following question: "Do you think F1 should be a mixed sport; men and women?" - Alain answered: "Yes, men during the day and women in the evening!"


In an interview with former Team Prost driver Olivier Panis, the interviewers and Olivier took a taxi cab in London. Olivier said: "I love these taxis". The interviewer: "But they're even slower than a '98 Prost". Olivier answered laughing: "Yes, but not much slower, and they are better in traffic!"


During the Andros Trophy ice race (2004) in Serre Chevalier (which was won by Alain), Alain did not succeed to avoid hitting another race car, which was standing in the middle of a turn. After the incident, Alain's race car looked like a pick-up truck, as he lost the back part of the car! Being asked about it in an interview with French TV-channel TF1, Alain said: "It's a typical beginner's mistake, but I'm still young and learning!"

Once, when the younger Alain drove the Prost family car, his mom asked him to change places. She said: "How bad you drive!"


Alain Prost once asked the journalists: "Do you know, why I really love my helmet that much? Because it makes me 15 centimetres taller!"

Due to Nigel Roebuck, Alain once said: "Does it scare me, driving into nothing at 300kph? - Of course it does - I'm not an idiot..."

Again a quote that comes from Nigel Roebuck: When Alain was asked, if boxing did account for his crooked nose, Alain answered: "Ah, non! It has been broken four times, you know. First time in a car accident on the road, second time showing the police how the accident happened... no, no, second time on roller skates, third time falling down stairs, fourth time falling off someone's shoulders..."

In 1986, after a flight in a Mirage of the French Air Force, I set off home, only to be caught in a radar trap, doing well in excess of my speed limit. The police man looked me up and down disdainfully before asking: "Who do you think you are - Alain Prost?"

During a press conference after the Canadian Grand Prix, I was demonstrating how I had outbraked someone or other when my chair skidded. I did a backward roll and disappeared from view under the dais, to the amusement and sympathetic applause of the assembled US and Canadian press.

In Detroit, I hit the wall slap bang in front of the pits. I was disgusted at having dropped a clanger like that in full view of the stands and I scuttled off as soon as I decently could to hide my shame... When I got back to my car the following day, there was a little scrap of paper scotchtaped to the windscreen. This is standard procedure, and normally serves to remind the driver that new brake discs have been mouted or that a fresh gearbox has to be nursed. In this way, the head mechanic can alert the driver to important details he should look out for during practice. The scrap of paper had the following message: "Differential, brakes, wishbone upper left, wishbone upper right, steering, suspension, gearbox, engine, heat exchanger, underbody, wings - all new. Three hours sleep." - That was the damage I'd done the day before...

In his book "Life in the Fast Lane", Alain wrote about how hard it is to go outside in peace: "Not so very long ago, I was skiing in Meribel. I had found a huge balaclava helmet and I was wearing outsize ski goggles. Just as I was about to launch myself downhill, a perfect stranger standing next to me tapped me on the shoulder. 'Ça va, Alain?'"


Alain Prost tells the story himself: "After the last training session for the day I went back to the hotel at 5 p.m., Willi Dungl gave me a massage and I ate something before setting the alarm clock for 7:45 am and turning in at 7 p.m. for my eleven hours of needed sleep. Suddenly, I heared the alarm clock ringing, I got up, shaved myself, and put on my driving suit. Then I took the elevator downstairs and noticed it was 20:15... So, I only slept about 45 minutes!! Fortunately, nobody has seen me - or else they would have thought: Now Prost gone mad!"


Alain was astonishingly easy on equipment, and I doubt that any other great driver ever made so few mistakes. At a Donington test years ago I remember chatting with Eddie Cheever, who was looking out over the track. "I don't believe it!" Eddie said. "Prost just spun!" He was silent for a few seconds. "Oh, what the hell, he'll probably do it again in another three or four years..."

Heinz Prüller wrote in his book "Grand Prix Story 86" about Alain Prost: "I usually meet him at oversea-flights. He always wears golf- or Mickey Mouse t-shirts and is the last one who comes into the plane, with sleeping-pills in his suitcase. Nobody sleeps as good and fast during oversea-flights as Alain does. Once, as an airplane had to return from the runway before the take-off, Alain already was fast asleep - they had to carry him out of the airplane."
:tongue: :haha: :wink:

* I started life with nothing, and still have most of it left


“Good drivers have dead flies on the side windows!” (Walter Röhrl)

* I married Miss Right. Just didn't know her first name was Always
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